It's me, Kath | Kaye | Kai

Yearning for a part of me- travelling One of the many things that I have always wanted to do again was to have international solo-travel at least once in a year.  My last international travel was way back in 2018, to Taiwan. The following year, I wasn't able to do so as I left work and returned to my hometown. It was a difficult period. Not only that, I lost my old passport and had to go through inconveniences to get a new one.  Last but not the least, 2020 onwards- the pandemic, we all know what happened, everything in the world stopped; that includes travelling for leisure. Years of not travelling left a void within me. It was something that I always looked forward to yearly- my motivation to grind at work. It was my happiness, as I had always known that I am meant to explore the world. I missed immersing myself into the crowd of locals and understand their daily lives; savor new flavors enhancing my palate and idea of good food.  I yearned learning a place's history and how

How can I stop myself from falling to someone whom I've only seen online? Why am I in my  delulu¹  era pseudo-high school crushing over someone in my 30s? Most of all, why am I liking someone whom I haven't met in person? Who does not reciprocate the same feelings towards me?- this is not right, LOL . Is this the effect of being chronically online ²? I have come into terms with myself that after my break up three years (almost four) ago, I won't harbor romantic feelings, be in a committed relationship, and that I would focus on myself moving forward. I guess I'm too gullible as I have not much kept my own promise for the "not having romantic feelings" part.  Almost half a year after my break-up last time, I connected with someone from my hometown and ended up disappointed. I shouldn't have bought his digital art to be honest or I could've ended our conversation after purchase. However, silly me decided to respond to his messages and found out months la

The sound of rainfall in the silence of dawn has never been this tranquil in my ears. It brings me comfort and allows myself to focus on the present, of my surroundings, without the stifling need to be alert.  The sound of falling raindrops on the roof gives me a sense of relief, a relief that I am where I had been longing to be in the past.  It makes me feel grateful and to always be thankful.  The sound of the rainfall in the stillness of dawn gives me ease that when the sun shines, I shall be more pleased.  I wrote this poem earlier when I woke up hearing the rain at 4AM. I was inspired by the stillness of the dawn and the rainfall that I was moved to write something. photo from:  Photo by Naufal Faisal: https://www.pexels.com/photo/raindrops-splashing-on-wall-16281448/

For the first time in 4 years that I have dreamt about my ex. It was weird. I was not able to fully recollect what my dream was about but what I can remember was the scene where I am already in the arms of another man- tall, moreno , with googly-doe eyes, very handsome with a resemblance of Donny Pangilinan , and a very sweet one, too.  It was like me saying goodbye to everything in the past and moving forward to a new romantic chapter in my life. And then, I woke up realizing that I don't have a romantic partner, but all I knew was that I am ready to fully open my heart again.  Does that mean for three years, I haven't moved on? -- Of course, I have moved on. I was even the one who initiated the breakup because I had a strong desire to look into my core and find out who I am, what I wanted to do in life, my likes and dislikes without worrying about what my then boyfriend, friends, family, or other people would think, without the people pleasing in short.  I wanted to I focus o

Labas na ako sa calendaryo! [My age is already out of the calendar]-- an expression often heard among Filipinos when someone reaches the age above 31.  While most people dread about their age once they go beyond 31, I believe that turning 32 is just a beginning of another enthralling chapter of your life.  Not going to lie, when the month of June, my birth month, started, I had birthday blues and a life crisis moment despite taking anti-depressant medications as prescribed (of course!). However, I had an eye-opener conversation with a very good friend that same day, June 1st. We shared over lunch, in the lobby of our apartment building, our experiences as someone whose own mother consider us as enemies, an eyesore, and someone they aren't proud of -- take note, my friend is great and prospering in work and life and an amazing human being.  While we were sharing our stories, she asked me if how I kept myself busy or activities done on weekends to cope on what I was going through?  I

As I reflect on how I can be a an instrument of light of this world (since I recently received and cleansed my black tourmaline), I thought about the Palestinians, who have been famished of their right to live peacefully due to greed. How can I be an instrument of light for them since I'm miles away from them? I see post of them asking for help and showing their situation on their social media platform and news. I see mothers devastatingly weeping after getting back to battling with the rest of the folks for a flour ration, a basic food ingredient which became inaccessible due to the restrictions of Isn't real for food and water supplies, so that they can at least fill their hunger- only to come home to a crumbling house with no one left. I see fathers who are relieved to see one of his children survived but weeping because the rest have been savagely beheaded- mind you, those were children, infants, in a hospital with Isn't real dressed up in disguises as humanitarian a