I don't know about you, but I'm feeling thirty-two!!

Labas na ako sa calendaryo! [My age is already out of the calendar]-- an expression often heard among Filipinos when someone reaches the age above 31. 

While most people dread about their age once they go beyond 31, I believe that turning 32 is just a beginning of another enthralling chapter of your life. 

Not going to lie, when the month of June, my birth month, started, I had birthday blues and a life crisis moment despite taking anti-depressant medications as prescribed (of course!). However, I had an eye-opener conversation with a very good friend that same day, June 1st.

We shared over lunch, in the lobby of our apartment building, our experiences as someone whose own mother consider us as enemies, an eyesore, and someone they aren't proud of -- take note, my friend is great and prospering in work and life and an amazing human being. 

While we were sharing our stories, she asked me if how I kept myself busy or activities done on weekends to cope on what I was going through? 

I paused as I didn't have much of an answer to her question. All I knew was, I was often bed-rotting, I was chronically online, and I often stared blankly or had emotional breakdowns. Then, it was Monday all over again. 

I haven't remembered what she told me on a verbatim manner but she did tell me to try writing at least 3 things that give me glimmers everyday.  If I can't think of anything, try and look at the simplest of things (e.g. if slept well that day, saw the sun rise, rainy days after hot humid days). 

Glimmers as defined, are tiny micro moments of joy—fleeting, everyday moments that elicit a rush of happiness, gratitude, calm, peace, safety, or goodwill. [What Are Glimmers and Why Are They Good for You? (2023, December 29). Newport Institute: Empowering Minds. Restoring Families. https://www.newportinstitute.com/resources/mental-health/what-are-glimmers/#:~:text=Glimmers%20are%20tiny%20micro%20moments,the%20sun%20on%20your%20skin ]

So, I did start writing my glimmers everyday, if not everyday, I at least try to remember what little glimmers I had on that day. To add to the glimmers, I started writing the moments that made me really happy and core memory-worthy ones. 

As I have been writing my daily glimmers everyday, I noticed that I had become more appreciative. I still had down moments though or times where I got upset or angry. However, this time, those feelings would not linger much and I have been more mindful with how I acted with these emotions while acknowledging it. No, I'm not talking about being a toxic positive type one here.

The universe seemed to align with my appreciation. I didn't feel dreadful came my 32nd birthday. In fact, it was the most exciting I had been since I can remember. We had a "Tita" (meaning, Auntie in Filipino) themed sumptuous brunch at Mom and Tina's, and proceeded to go for a coffee and cake for dessert.

I spent quality time with quality friends, who despite us having main-character personalities, still remember who to celebrate this day. And with that, I actually enjoyed listening to them talking about their experiences and accomplishments in life! The energy was not a narcissistic, pick-me one, but rather a very genuine, supportive, and NON-energy draining one! Maybe because our personalities are on the same wavelength, that must be why.

Compared to last year, where on my birthday, my mother chose to pick a fight on me, thrown multitudes of swear words at me over a hypothetical question, "What I'll do if I win the lottery?"-- I know it sounded untrue and pathetic, but sad to say, it was true. 

Not only that, I wanted to celebrate my birthday with people I personally cherished back in my hometown but wasn't able to because a close friend had gotten beef with some of my close friends and had gotten too sulky over my chat. I just said that I all wanted for my birthday was a celebratory vibe of being 31. So there I realized, why would you get sulky if all I wanted was a moment of celebration and good vibes? Should every event and conversation be only about you?

So I had come to terms with myself to set a boundary and distance from energy draining people who didn't want to celebrate you, emotionally and physically. I still love them though but just outgrown.

Going back to my recent simple but memorable celebration with some of my close friends, I also didn't expect that I would purchase something I had been dreaming of buying, a Dior lippie. If not for my cheerful and supportive friend who encouraged me to try checking out the store first, we wouldn't have experienced the Princess Treatment they had at the store. Not to mention, the price wasn't that bad at all. It wasn't a "that's so expensive, I would buy the dupe one if I were you" moment with my friend. Rather, I was affirmed to get something I want since it was my day, and that I deserved it because I worked hard for it. 

We got kilig over the feeling of swiping a light-weight, moisturizing, pigmented, and luxurious-feeling lippie. We giggled with beaming excitement as we were served with fancy-looking refreshments and a plate of hors d'oevre while sitting on the Dior Lounge.

I had only manifested this months ago. Indeed, in practicing gratitude everyday, embracing who you really are, setting boundaries, and learning to grow instead of dwell, the universe simply aligns with you. I was, am, and will always be thankful for the gift of friends, who in their ways unbeknownst to them helped me cope with my depression and helped me grow and learn. 

Who said 30's is bad, eh? Turning 32 is exciting! I'm excited to take on glimmers and be grateful everyday! As the line in my favorite movie of all time, 13 Going on 30 said, "Thirty, Flirty, and THRIVING: why the 30's are the best years of your life"